A Moment of Reflection

You know? Sometimes I'm amazed that it's been a whole year since we first found out we were pregnant with Shaun... a year is such a long time but it feels like so much less. And then I remember back to how I was feeling a year ago: thinking about where I'd be now and it felt like "a whole year, that's so far away".
I get really sad thinking about it. In a year Shaun's going to be walking and his own little independent self and I'll probably be pregnant again; moving on from this point in my life. I'm so happy with where we are right now, I just want to stay right here. I don't want Shaun to grow up, I don't want us to grow old, I don't want to have to flip over another page on the calendar, I don't want to stop nursing Shaun... so much is perfect now and the future is so unpredictable.
I think I just need a really good cry. I haven't had one of those since Shaun was just a few weeks old. I need to accept that things are going to change, grieve it and let it go.
Melissa from across the hall has been listening to Shaun on the monitor the last couple of nights while I've been leaving to pick up Craig. She says that she'll be needing me a lot this month too so she's glad to help me out. It's just so handy. And she's great. We get along very well.
Tomorrow is Shaun's first swimming lesson. Me and him will be going every Friday evening for 9 weeks to Waterloo Rec Centre for an 'introduction to water' or sorts. But Craig has the day off tomorrow (a lieu day) and is coming with Shaun and I. His first time in the pool, I hope he enjoys it! We'll see.
Craig and I finally decided what to do for our anniversary celebration. At the Talbot Theatre in London a comedy/opera called Ruddigore is playing. We're going next Saturday night. Our plan (it's still just a plan because we haven't confirmed with my parents yet) is to go to my parents' Saturday afternoon and have dinner with them and leave Shaun with them for the night. They can take him to the meeting on Sunday and then come here for dinner Sunday night. If they're here for Shaun's 3PM feeding then he'll only miss 3 feedings. That should be okay... I should be able to pump for those. I'm going to call them in the morning and see.