No Symptoms

Maybe I'm imagining the lack of symptoms or maybe since I know I'm pregnant now I'm not paying that much attention to them. But 2 days ago they disappeared completely. No more fatigue (I haven't needed a nap in a couple days) my boobs aren't sore at all now but it's almost like my milk was coming in earlier this week, they were that tender, and I'm not peeing as much anymore either. I haven't said anything to Craig because I don't want him to worry, but now it feels like I'm suffering in silence. Since we haven't told anyone I can't share how incredibly scared I am with anyone. Wednesday night next week will be the day I lost the last baby. I think if I make it past that day and am still pregnant it will be a huge milestone. Could it be I'm just getting used to the feeling of being pregnant and that's why I don't feel it anymore?

I was feeling pretty crampy last week, mostly on the left side. I hope that isn't indicative of something. My hCG numbers came back really good, though.

Wednesday, November 28 83iu
Monday, December 3 1103iu

So that's good, right? I can only hope my numbers are still going up. I'm so scared I'm going to lose another baby. I don't even know what I would do! I'd certainly demand tests and answers. I know I didn't do everything I could have this time: no early u/s, no progesterone, but if come Monday I'm still feeling like this I'm calling Dr. McKinnon and pleading for an u/s. Wednesday I'll be 6 weeks and I have to know that everything is okay before we tell the family at the end of December. I couldn't bear to have to tell them our baby died! I'm going to make myself sick with worry! I need to take a nap and just relax!