And So, We Meet

Craig and I had discussed back in the first trimester getting a 3D ultrasound done. Extra ultrasounds above and beyond the standard aren't covered by OHIP so it would cost us $169.50 out of our pocket. Originally I decided I wasn't going to get it done but the more I felt the baby moving inside me, the more I realized how much I wanted to meet this baby early. Shaun and I went today and Mum joined us. Craig couldn't get time off in the middle of his shift so I'm thrilled my Mum could come and share the scan with me. It would have been so different if I was by myself.

Peek a Boo!

I was amazed at how much the baby moves that I don't feel. It was squirming the whole time! And we got some great shots on DVD of the baby yawning and stretching. One yawn was so big it stuck out its tongue and everything. So amazing that this a life we started together.

We had decided back at the last ultrasound that we don't want to know the gender this time around. I knew the chance of the gender remaining a mystery after this scan was slim but baby cooperated and kept its legs closed! It must have known that we want it to stay a surprise until its birth day. Funnily enough I don't have any strong feelings one way or another. I had been thinking for a while that I may be carrying a boy but now I'm not sure. It's strange that so many people say they just "know" the gender of their baby before even an ultrasound. Do they say that AFTER they know that their hunch was right? What does that feel like, to know what gender your baby is without actually knowing for certain? I have to admit that I haven't even had a single dream about the gender of this baby. That must mean that it really doesn't matter to me and that it's not on my mind. I've been dreaming of all sorts of bizarre things lately, from the brakes not working on the van to my favourite TV show being nothing but commercials for the whole half hour, but the baby hasn't appeared in any yet.

I'm finding it harder to bond with this baby. When I was pregnant with Shaun I would sit and read after coming home from work and nudge my belly whenever he'd kick or squirm. I remember spending hours in the rocking chair before he was born, reading outloud and singing favourite songs from childhood. I haven't done that specifically for this baby yet. Granted, I read every night aloud to Shaun and I sing countless children's songs every day with him (his favourite right now is Herman the Worm) so that helps with the guilt I feel that I don't have as much time to enjoy this pregnancy. I always knew that this pregnancy would be different. I'm busier. Our routine has changed. I've been here before and the little nudges throughout the day aren't new anymore so I don't notice them as much. It's sad, really. I'm almost mourning this pregnancy before it's even 3/4 done. Craig commented to me tonight that it seems to be going a lot quicker than with Shaun. I agree! I'll probably have just as many days to enjoy having a tiny life all to myself as I did with Shaun but I'm busy caring for another little life at the same time. I wonder what it will be like with 2 children? No wonder so many people plan to have their second child when the first is old enough for school.