Thumb vs. Pacifier

Shaun was a thumb-sucker. We tried and tried to get him to accept a soother but he wanted nothing to do with it. Personally, I don't think we tried hard enough or early enough. With all of his latch issues as a newborn, I was terrified to introduce something other than my breast and have it result in nipple confusion. So we didn't.

Then Ian came along and we promised one another that we weren't going to have another child who was a thumb-sucker. Shaun was 3 when Ian was born and he still sucked on his thumb at bedtime and occasionally during the day if he was watching TV or in the car if he was tired. We diligently replaced the suckie in Ian's mouth when he'd cry during a nap or in the middle of the night. We justified it because we realized he didn't really have a self-soothing technique other than the suckie. So, night after night we'd stumble into his room, feel around the crib in the dark and jam that thing back into his mouth before tiptoeing back out the door. We'd cross our fingers that it would be the last time and hope to sleep straight through 'til morning, only to have him wake up an hour later. Once we moved and the boys were in separate bedrooms, Ian was nearly 6 months old so we let him learn to put himself back to sleep (read: CIO). By then I was happy to put the pillow over my head because I knew there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. Eventually he learned to sleep right through, but only once we completely took away the suckie when he was 10 months old. Once there was nothing for him to lose, he had no reason to wake up searching for it.

Now Kyle's here. We have one thumb-sucker who was a brilliant sleeper because his thumb was always there. On the other hand, his thumb was always there. We have one suckie kid who was an awful sleeper until we took the suckie away. He's been sleeping through the night since then and doesn't drag a dirty suckie around with him everywhere. What do you think we decided to do for Kyle?

People we know who have 3 kids joke that 3 is the perfect number. They reason that you're always too firm with the first kid because you want them to be the best at everything and you have the time to help them BE the best, you're too leniant with the second because you've realized all your efforts with the first were for naught so you may as well throw caution to the wind and see what Nature does, that leaves the third child. By the time number 3 comes around, you've perfected pretty much every parenting dilemma and have seen the results of all your efforts (or lack thereof). Number 3 is supposed to be the one that's the easiest.

Not so!

Kyle has a suckie. He loves it. Thankfully, he's not allowed to use it any time other than when he's in bed but he practically has a stroke when he sees it. His arms and legs flail and he opens his mouth up so wide, you'd think he's a little bird and the suckie is a juicy, wiggly worm being dropped from my mouth. He loves it so much; even when he's in a sleep so deep I can vacuum in his room or lift up his arm and watch it flop to the bed without even so much as making him stir. Unfortunately, he loves it so much he wakes up and screams the moment it falls from his lips.

And I hate it. I hate that I have 4 of them. I hate that I have the next size sitting on a shelf in his room, that I can tell you exactly what colour he has in his mouth right now because I co-ordinate it to whatever he's wearing (because there's soooo many people who give a freaking damn), that there's a clip in his carseat so I can reach it without even having to turn around while driving. Most of all, I hate that I think he needs it. So, night after night, when he wakes up and cries, I stumble into his room and search in the dark crib for one elusive suckie that always seems to be underneath him or fallen to the floor against the wall and I tell him, "this is the last time I'm coming in here to give this to you."

I wish he was a thumb sucker.