While we were getting ready to head out the door to do the groceries tonight I realized how much I've changed since having Shaun. Keep reading...
Me Before:
I would make sure my clothes were clean and any jeans had no wrinkles before heading out the door. My hair was always brushed and usually tied back into a neat ponytail, sometimes with a strand of hair pinned around the elastic.
Me After:
Do I have clothes on? Yes? Good. Hair? Umm, I'll wear a hat today.
Grocery List Before:
All the items were organized in neat little sections on my sheet of binder paper. I would put dairy in the top left corner, next to that bread products and then produce, etc. It was a list created by a Master. I would make sure my handwriting was pristine in case I lost my list in the grocery store so that whoever would pick it up would think, "My, this gal has very nice handwriting."
Grocery List After:
A discarded piece of paper - usually the back of a bill, with mostly illegible scribbles on it of strange things to get this shop like lemon grass, garlic mayo, and paneer. For the rest of the shop, I wing it.
Diaper Bag Before:
The always-completely-stocked wipes were neatly tucked in an inside pocket. I'd use the premium diapers when I'd go out so that if I was changing Shaun in a washroom people wouldn't think I was using the cheapies (meanwhile I had the cheapies at home). I had snacks (only fruit so people wouldn't think I fed my kid junk), books, small toys and a complete change of good clothes for Shaun in there.
Diaper Bag After:
Diapers. Check. Shake the wipes container. If it sounds like there's something in there: Check. Undies for Ian. Check. Plus any random toys that one of the kids has dumped in there, usually a couple of mints from the last restaurant visit, and sometimes a half-full bottle of water where the water has condensed on the top of the bottle because it's been sitting in there so long.
My Kid Before:
Shaun would be dressed only in his best clothes. Name brand, all matchy-matchy, his best coat and shoes and usually I'd spike his hair up into a mohawk because I loved the attention it would get him.
My Kids After:
Is everyone dressed? Usually I make this observation around the same time as I'm making my own on myself. Are all the shoes accounted for? Are all the children accounted for?
My Vehicle Before:
I drove a sharp silver Grand Prix with brushed chrome rims and dark tinted windows. I had a stash of my favourite CDs in the multi-disc player and more on the visor where I stored my flashy sunglasses.
My Vehicle After:
A dull brown minivan with finger-printed and tongue-printed windows and a non-working rear windshield wiper that is permanently stuck half way through it's stroke. My 6-disc CD changer houses Raffi, Sesame Street, Raffi's Greatest Hits, Igor Soundtrack, Madagascar Soundtrack, and Mixed Kids' Songs. In that order. I have no sunglasses because my children continue to wear them and subsequently break them.
Why do people continue to have children if this is what their lives become????
Because of this:
And this:
And this:
1 comment:
Once again Michelle, you had me chuckling!
I agree wholeheartedly! I will say, for me at least, there was one upgrade...I'd never owned a car until having kids. Always living in moderate sized cities with excellent public transit, I didn't see the point!
It incredible that with the first kid, you try so hard to hold on to the pre-kid identity, and by the third, you've loosened up enough to know what's truly important.
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