Family of 5 - To Stay

After much agonizing and soul searching, Craig had his vasectomy appointment on Friday last week. We've known our family is complete but there's something about a vasectomy that is so, I don't know, final. The paperwork says, "This is a permanent form of sterilization," as if there's a non-permanent form. Craig said it was completely worse than he had even feared it would be. I knew it wasn't going to be a cakewalk but three children came out of me! I was all hopped up on drugs for the first one so I must have forgotten what it was like and decided to have a second go of childbirth. Then when number three came along there was no sympathy from anyone anymore. We all knew how this happened and I had no one willing to listen to my complaining.

I spent the weekend basically away with all the kids. The Littles were graciously shipped to my parents' house where they enjoyed the weekend with their youngest cousin; Shaun and I took a day trip to the Royal Ontario Museum on Saturday and then I helped out in my brother and sister-in-law's flower shop on Sunday. Craig had 2 whole days on his own to wallow and recouperate.

I'm a little sad that there's so much finality that comes with a vasectomy. I'm done having kids and am really, really excited for the things we can do with our older children: we'll be done with diapers in just over a year; our big kids can sleep in a tent on their own when we go camping; sleeping in on Saturday morning will be a part of our life again as the boys get older and can be trusted to stay out of trouble on their own downstairs; but that doesn't mean that a small part of me isn't disappointed I'll never be pregnant again or get to make those first happy calls to family members.

This is a new road. A new adventure.