The stress of the basement has been lifted and Craig and I have been, ahem, back to normal, if you know what I mean. The weekend was nice because we were finally able to relax and spend some time together. We've been working together on getting the house ready to list. We were on a roll and then it all fell apart today and we crashed and burned.
I'm overwhelmed. I can't keep doing everything that I've been doing and be able to function. This morning I got up at 7AM, nursed Ian, made breakfast for Shaun, got myself and Shaun dressed, changed Ian's diaper, got Ian dressed, got extra clothes for Ian's diaper bag, packed Shaun's backpack for preschool, tidied the kitchen, scraped the ice off the van, cleaned out the shop vac that I was returning to a friend, recycled all the cardboard boxes that we've been lugging around for weeks, filled the empty cat food bin, fed the cats, left Ian with Craig who was still in bed and drove Shaun to pick up his friend. Then I drove the boys to preschool, chatted with Shaun's teacher a bit about how he's been doing, picked up the window screens that were fixed for us, and came home to... Craig still in his pyjamas. How is that fair?!?!
I was soooo angry but I bit my tongue and reminded him that we had 30 minutes to get the house ready because we had to leave again at 10:00 and there was an agents tour scheduled for while we were to be out. I frantically washed the breakfast dishes, swept the kitchen floor, made Shaun's bed, put away the boys' laundry, tossed a basket of unfolded laundry in our closet that had been sitting in the kitchen in hopes of Craig folding it, folded the blanket in the basement that I had already folded once this morning, rearranged the pillows on the couch that I had already arranged once this morning, put away the breakfast dishes, nursed Ian, changed his bum, and flew out the door.
The one thing I had asked Craig to do this morning was call the bank to discuss our new mortgage rate. He didn't even do that. I was so insulted that I had been so busy all morning and Craig hadn't done anything to help until I walked in the door and reminded him we had to leave at 10:00. Why am I the one who is always responsible for things like that? He knows where the calendar is. He can read. I had even sent him an email at work last night telling him how busy this morning was going to be. I suggested when we got back around lunch time that we sit down together tonight and make a list of what needs to be done every single day until this place sells and he flat refused, saying doing that would make it seem like we were 12 year olds. Well, newsflash, having your wife remind you of each and every appointment is pretty close to you being 12 years old again. I have half a mind to leave all that stuff up to him and see how far he gets, and how nasty the house is after only a day.
What show is it on TV where people reverse their roles? I know his job is physically demanding most days and I probably wouldn't be able to do it day-in and day-out but he really hasn't a friggin clue how much I carry on my plate daily. Simple things like me reminding him to grab Ian's health card from my purse for Ian's Dr. appointment this morning, or making sure the diaper bag actually has diapers in it. He's never had to think about stuff like that because I've always done it, fearing he'd be left without it. I should leave it up to him one day.
This whole thing ended up in a huge argument about how I can't continue doing everything that I'm doing; I need more help from him. He went on and on listing off the things he's done in the past couple of weeks to help get the house ready. Yes, he's been helping with some things but I don't see him sleeping until 8AM and then sitting on his behind in front of the computer for an hour and a half while I'm off running, to be helping. Maybe it's just me. It seems to be only on his terms; when he wants to help. I don't have a choice about when I make a meal or feed the baby. I especially don't have a choice about what to clean or when to clean it now that the house is listed. I could get a call this afternoon asking to bring a client through at dinner time. I have 2 children to look after in the meantime so I would appreciate not having to pick his sock lint out of the carpet or throw his dead kleenex in the garbage.
Yeesh, that was quite the vent. I feel much better now. And now I'm off to dig the basket of laundry out of our closet so I can fold it before next week. :S I sure hope I'm not doing this for months...
Thursday, December 11, 2008
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4 comments:
Oh boy...been there, done that...still doing it actually! Ok, well, not doing the house selling thing. But I did go through it twice before, and it went pretty much exactly how you described....me doing everything, hubby doing, well, nothing.
Something must be in the air today or something because I was running around trying to get everyone ready this morning in time to get Nolan off to school. Not an easy task with 3 kids to get ready, plus myself. Hubby, of course, sleeps through all of it every morning. Since it was SOOO bitter cold this morning I asked him if he could keep an eye on Kaia and Pierce while I ran Nolan off to school. Apparently I must have been asking to chop off his left arm. I ended up fighting them all to get their coats and boots on and hauled them all out in the freezing cold for the 5 minute trip to take Nolan to school. Pissed me off to no end.
But I digress....I could go on and on.
Yeah I think it is a guy thing cause my mom and I were just complaining about our hubbies having no idea everything we do either. *Sigh* Hope he gets his butt in gear and helps you out more!
Thanks Girls. Craig actually called from work last night because he felt so terrible and it's all good now. Hopefully this was just a bump and we'll sell really soon and this whole keep-the-house-impeccable-with-2-kids won't last long. It's nice to know I'm not the only one whose husband is sometimes a bonehead. :P
Reading this a few days late, but I had a similar fight with Kevin this week. He hasn't gotten it through his head that if I'm in too much pain to stand for more than 20 minutes, I need help keeping up with things like dishes and laundry. Which is about the only cleaning that gets done these days. And dishes are supposed to be his responsibility. UGH!
Crystal's right; it's a guy thing. And no, it's not like there's a lazy gene on the 'y' chromosome; men were raised to be taken care of, women to do the taking care. It's slowly starting to change, but even the most feminist guys who actually do care have serious issues not making their wife do ALL the housework.
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