Three's a Crowd, Drafted Post from April 24, 2009

I cried - a lot - when I first realized we were growing our family. I want three children and I've made it very clear to Craig that my intention is to have 3 eventually but not now. My personality is Type A - I have to plan things. Everything. This was not in the plans for right now. I've lost control over something that I always thought was in my control. What are we going to do?!

Obviously we'll have the baby. No question there. But how will we adjust to a third baby when our second is only 16 months old?

My home childcare just opened and my first client starts at the end of June. When the baby comes I'll have a 16 month old of my own, a 17 month old that I'm looking after and a nearly 4 1/2 year old. Goodness.

It's not that I'm not grateful. It's just that this comes as such a surprise. We struggled for 19 long months to get pregnant with Ian. There were 2 devastating miscarriages in that time. We started to think that we'd never be able to have another healthy child. We looked to fertility treatments and had a start date set when we learned that Ian was coming along. My mind is drowning thinking about how our lives will change with a third child.