I have a very sad story to tell. This is not something to read if you're in a good mood... or even if you're a little depressed, in fact. It's simply tragic but I feel I have to share.
Craig and I don't believe in co-sleeping. Occasionally I will bring Kyle into bed with me early in the morning and nurse him while I doze for an extra 15 or 20 minutes but he's never, ever, slept the whole night in our bed. None of our kids have. Partly because it's OUR bed. I don't sleep in their beds, why should they be allowed in our bed? Mostly because it's not safe. Everything I've ever read aboot co-sleeping says it isn't safe and I bite my tongue whenever someone I know tells me they co-sleep with their child. There's even things on the market now to keep baby separated from the parents if they still insist on co-sleeping. Some people just never think something tragic will happen to them.
Friends of Craig and I have friends who have a 10 week old daughter. Jane, our friend, feels like we do about co-sleeping so when she found out their friends were allowing their infant daughter to sleep in their bed, she voiced her opinion that it's just not a good idea. Stating reasons like, the child will never learn to soothe herself, how will you have a sex life with a baby in your bed, etc. It was all scoffed off because they like having their daughter in their bed and reason she won't be there when she's 15 so why not enjoy it while she's little. Besides, it's a lot easier to function during the day when you're sleeping at night.
Friends of Craig and I have friends who have a 10 week old daughter. Jane, our friend, feels like we do about co-sleeping so when she found out their friends were allowing their infant daughter to sleep in their bed, she voiced her opinion that it's just not a good idea. Stating reasons like, the child will never learn to soothe herself, how will you have a sex life with a baby in your bed, etc. It was all scoffed off because they like having their daughter in their bed and reason she won't be there when she's 15 so why not enjoy it while she's little. Besides, it's a lot easier to function during the day when you're sleeping at night.
Well, sadly, the very night Jane told her friends that, their 10 week old daughter died. In their bed. Right beside them. The mother smothered her daughter and when she woke up, her baby was dead. Cold, blue, cradled up against her skin right where she had tucked her the night before.
Today, Mother's Day, Jane and her husband had to attend a funeral for this beautiful, perfect little girl who died so needlessly. They had to hug this little girl's parents and apologize that she was taken from them too soon. They had to listen to her name being cried out by her mother and watch as her parents crumpled in a heap of sobs at the altar. And then they had to drive into the cemetary for a graveside service and watch the tiny casket be lowered 6 feet into the ground while everyone sobbed and buried this little girl with their tears.
So tragic, and so needless. It simply breaks my heart.
4 comments:
Yikes! Maybe we need to move Kara to a bassinet soon!
I didn't know you were co-sleeping. Perhaps I had read it somewhere in your blog and just never really registered.
In any case, certainly move her to a bassinet or a Moses Basket. Keep it beside your bed, on the nightstand even, so you can place your hand on her to soothe her during the night. It's a family in Stoney Creek, near Hamilton, who lost their daughter. I just can't imagine...
While this is horrible, I have to ask. Have they actually determined that it was smothering and not SIDS?
Ashley, I don't know if there was an autopsy performed or not. I never asked. I suppose SIDS is just as possible as the baby being smothered. In any case though, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if my baby died beside me and it may have been my fault.
Some of the evidence behind SIDS shows that it could possibly be from lack of adequate air circulation and that's why there's such a movement to remove bumper pads from infants' cribs (and blankets, stuffed animals, etc.). A baby sleeping under heavy blankets and tucked up against an adult, breathing their exhaled breath, would certainly have less fresh air circulation than, say, a baby in their own bed.
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