How does one explain adoption to a child?
Shaun and I read Robert Munch's book David's Father tonight. David is adopted and Shaun asked me what that meant. My explanation brought him to tears! I totally didn't mean to upset him. I don't know how I could have worded it differently to make it better.
I told him that sometimes when a lady gets pregnant she decides the baby will be happier/healthier with different people so she chooses to have the baby adopted. The baby then goes on to live with his Mommy and Daddy even though he didn't grow in his Mommy's belly. Shaun started sobbing and asked me if he was adopted and if he grew in someone else's belly. I think that just the thought of him having a different Mommy who isn't me was terrifying!
The only thing that may have made it a little better was when I told him that his best school friend is adopted. I don't know for sure, but this little guy has Asian eyes and 100% caucasian parents. He's an only child and his parents are a little older than the others in the class. Shaun's heading to their house on Saturday to play and I'm going with him so hopefully I'll get the full story then. Regardless, they're a wonderful family from what I've seen and Shaun and the boy get along wonderfully.
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Poor little guy (Shaun, that is)! India's good friend is adopted. She was born in Ecuador, and her parents volunteered at an orphanage there and met her. She's biracial (Hispanic/African descent).After I think 3 years of going back and forth, they finally brought her home last year, right as India started Kindergarten. The little girl started school a few weeks later.
India's always understood adpotion. We explained it that sometimes when a mommy gets pregnant, she can't care for her baby for whatever reason, maybe she's sick, maybe she can't afford to take care of her baby (the kids understand that it costs a LOT of money to take care of kids, and that in other countries and other places in this country people aren't as fortunate as what we are). We explained that her friends mommy loved her so much that she wanted her to have a better life than what she could possibly give her under the circumstances, so she took her to an orphanage where they would be able to give her food, clothes and to educate her. We went on to talk about how her family here met her and fell in love with her so much that they wanted her to come and live with them as their daughter. India thinks it's a beautiful concept.
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