Once I had the Bigs in bed tonight, I sunk into the rocking chair in Kyle's room to nurse him. It was a rough day today. Actually, it's been a rough go for the last several days.
Shaun's excited about Senior Kindergarden and unbelievably anxious at the same time. He switches from jumping up and down flapping his arms and hands, to wimpering and whining about having to go back. Ian has been screaming an awful lot and it's at such a decible, it makes my ears ring. Kyle is teething, he's decided he doesn't need his third nap anymore which has increased the Witching Hour from 2 hours to 3, and he's determined to figure out how to switch from sitting on his bum to laying on his tummy without face-planting every. single. time.
It's hard being on my own at the end of the day. Dinner time is the worst and it's even more difficult because everyone is tired and hungry and needing something all at the same time, and it's only me who can help them. Often I end up foregoing dinner for myself alltogether and eating once everyone is in bed and quiet and I can enjoy a warm meal with no interruptions. Most days I'm on a 2 1/2 hour countdown from 5PM. Dinner, dishes, baths, jammies, stories, bed. It can't go quick enough.
Tonight I could hear Shaun chatting to himself about the Spiderman jammies he's wearing tonight; planning his next move on Venom. Ian was quietly humming to himself and rustling his fresh sheets as he snuggled in for a long nap. Kyle's eyes were rolling back into his head and I listened to the sound of his bare feet stroking the arm of the rocking chair. As the rush of milk came, all the sounds of the house ceased except for the occasional swallow from the baby at my breast. At that moment I realized something -- It won't always be so easy to make everything okay. All my boys need is right here. Our house could burn down tomorrow, the van could be stolen and we could have a negative balance in our bank account, but my boys are happy and safe - that's all that truly matters.
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