A Tea Party

Craig and I really enjoy tea. Various kinds, it doesn't really matter, we just like tea. Not as much as coffee, mind you, nonono, but we like tea.

The other day (the same day I was in such a funk) I was doing dishes and Shaun was hanging around like he usually does. Occasionally I'll let him climb up on a chair beside me while I'm washing and he'll play in the water for a while. Lately since my belly has been getting so big, oh you didn't notice??, he hasn't been able to do dishes with mummy. So this day I set him up at his own little table with a small container of water and a few smaller mugs and cups and scoops so he could do his own dishes. He ended up having a tea party - my boy! I've never had a tea party with him and neither has Craig. Is this just one of those intrinsic things that kids do but don't know why they do it? I was dumbfounded. He knows we drink tea but we drink far more coffee. Why didn't he have a coffee party or do the dishes, which was my original plan for the water-play? Childhood and more relevently, parenthood, is such a mystery to me so much of the time. It's a wonder I'm not circling around in a daze all day long trying to figure out why things happen the way they do!

38 Weeks

I'm really late in posting this photo but you get the idea: I'm still pregnant. I'm also in a gigantic grump today but have a cute story and picture of Shaun. I'll get to that when I'm feeling more positive and blessed to me a mum.

For now I need ice cream and a nap!

ACK! Full Term!

Okay, 37 weeks. So that means full term... baby can come anytime and should be okay. Know what that also means? It's time to panic. Yep, I'm panicking. I don't feel ready to be a mum of 2! It's funny because we tried for 19 months for this baby and suffered 2 losses in that time and when we finally got to see the first ultrasound of this baby I felt nothing but relief that we'd finally be expanding our family. But now that we're so close to becoming a family of 4 I'm not convinced I'm ready.

I know once I see this baby and we bring it home that I'll try to remember what it was like as a family of only 3 but for now I try to imagine what it will be like as 4 and I get this flip-flop in my stomach. What have we done?!

A Childhood Obsession

Every once in a while Craig will come up with these bizarre ideas. I've learned over our 5 1/2 years of marriage to just laugh them off and let him go at them with all his gusto and enthusiasm. Monday night at 11:30 Craig started working on one of these bizarre ideas and I didn't even ask him what he was up to; I didn't want to know. By 1AM his project was completed. It was a whipper snipper for Shaun!

Using an old cut down hockey stick for the shaft, Craig added the motor from a tape player and a switch box from a remote control boat. A couple of wires and a 9V battery, and everything held together with hockey tape and it was complete. Shaun spent over an hour outside this morning trimming all the weeds and grass in our humble little backyard. For a free toy, made in about an hour by a very creative daddy, I'm really impressed first that it works, and second that Shaun is so enamoured by it.

Maybe Craig can make me a food processor next???

36 Weeks, Nearly There

Craig asked me this morning if I'm feeling like this baby may come earlier than its due date. Being still 4 weeks away from that due date, I can honestly say I don't know. The pressure that I remember from the end of my pregnancy with Shaun hasn't appeared yet but I've read that often second babies don't actually completely engage in the pelvis until labor begins. Shaun wasn't even completely engaged when I went in to be induced at 41+1 weeks. I have noticed that the baby has dropped a little in the last week: it's easier to breathe, I'm able to eat a little more before feeling stuffed-full, and I'm peeing like I'm back in the first trimester. It's actually quite annoying; the whole pee thing. As if sleeping isn't difficult enough with the heat and humidity of a southern Ontario summer, I have to get up to pee at least twice a night. And if I happen to wake while I'm stirring I can't get back to sleep until I pee. I'd be okay with getting up to pee if it was a decent pee but it's trickles. Truly annoying.

At my midwife appointment earlier this week we talked a little bit about ways to prepare my body for labor in hope that I don't go overdue. I certainly will not medically induce this time unless it's necessary for me or the baby but I'm not opposed to natural ways to get my body ready. Pooja mentioned evening primrose oil - which I'm familiar with, and red raspberry leaf tea - which can be more effective but I have to drink about 6 cups a day. :O I've done research on both of them and Pooja recommended I choose only one since this is my second baby, so I'm going to start on the EPO early this coming week. Hopefully it will remind my body that labor and delivery are approaching soon and to start to 'prepare the path' as it were. We'll see it if ends up doing anything. I've opted out of any internal checks before I'm in labor because I don't feel they're necessary so I won't know if the EPO does anything, but it can't hurt to try.

Just Foolin' Around

I found this website that lets you make comic strips out of any photos you'd like. I thought that a visual of what my belly's been doing would be pretty cool. I have yet to take a 36 week photo (I'll do that tomorrow morning) but when I do I'll update the comic strip. Pretty cool if you ask me! I still have to figure out how to label each photo with the gestation. The first photo is at 12 weeks. The last one is at 35 weeks.

One Month From Today

I can't believe it - I'm due to deliver our second baby a month from today. Even through all the recent heat, the swelling in my hands and feet, the breathlessness while climbing stairs (or just talking, these days!) and not being able to be the mum I want to be for Shaun, I'm not ready to give up carrying this baby yet.

The baby is beginning to get a more predictable schedule: I know that between 9:30 and 10:00 PM is its most active time and I look forward to that time of day. Lately I've been turning off the TV or pausing my time on the computer just to embrace my belly with my hands and enjoy the movement from the little life within. Part of me wants to keep it inside me forever so I never have to try and remember what it feels like to have another being living in my body.

I really am so blessed to be able to carry healthy babies, even though this road was long and we suffered from heartache on the way. I don't take for granted how lucky I truly am for even a second and I wish that everyone who wanted to could experience the joy of pregnancy.

35 Weeks

The settings on the camera were messed up and I couldn't figure out how to get the timer to work so Craig took this picture of me. The settings must have been really messed up because it's SO grainy!!

Tell It Like It Is

Shaun's always been a child who says what he's thinking without any regard for how it may make another person feel. We're trying to teach him empathy and compassion so that he doesn't hurt someone's feelings by accident but I have to admire his honesty and innocence.

We went to the park after dinner tonight and there were a mess of other children there; most were under the age of 5. Shaun and another little boy were chasing each other on the playground; up the stairs and then down the slide and back to the stairs. This other little boy has just turned 2 1/2 but is pretty small for his age and isn't talking very much yet. Halfway up the stairs on their way to the slide Shaun stopped, turned to the little boy behind him and announced, "My name is Shaun, I have big eyes and your head is small."

I nearly fell off the park bench I was sitting on. Partly because it was true - this little guys head is small - but mostly because after that Shaun and this little boy continued playing with one another like nothing had just happened. I probably laughed louder and longer than I should have because afterall, that could be quite an insult for his mum but it was so innocent and neither boy thought much about the comment at all.

I wish the whole world was like that. I'd love to tell the obese woman in a motorized scooter to get up and walk and not fear being slugged if I tell someone their kid is a terror. People are too sensitive these days and it's pathetic. I have pretty thick skin I'd like to think. I'll admit that I defend a lot of statements that are made to me that are probably true but that's human nature. As long as you're honest, how can I argue with that? Really people!

My Little Trouble Maker

First of all, I don't want the title of this blog entry to mislead anyone reading it into thinking that Shaun is a trouble maker. He's actually the best behaved child we know (mind you, I'm quite biased) and has never gotten into any really big trouble. Other children we know have been known to spread poo from their diaper on walls in the bedroom, empty dresser drawers completely, dump bags of cat food, all sorts of terrible stuff that Shaun wouldn't even dream of doing. But I think our streak of abnormally good toddler behaviour ended this morning.

I made the big mistake of putting Shaun to bed last night at 7:50. His normal bedtime is between 8 and 8:30, depending on what we've been doing that day and how long his afternoon nap was. And he wakes up around 7:30 in the morning. Well, since he went to bed so early last night, he woke up early this morning: at 6:10; long before I was ready to get up. I sent him back to his room and told him to wait until my alarm went off at 7:30. Now normally he goes back to his room and more often than not will fall back to sleep. Not this morning. I vaguely remember hearing him in the bathroom pushing his stool around and using the toilet. After that I remember nothing until my alarm went off at 7:30. I was listening to the news and could hear him coming up the stairs. Immediately I was alert and he came into my room holding a bottle of Windex. Oops, I remembered I left it at the top of the stairs as a reminder to myself to clean the bathroom mirror before leaving for camping on Friday. I asked him what he was doing with it and Shaun told me he was washing the walls in the living room because they were really dirty. I shot out of bed in a panic because I don't know what Windex does to walls! And how long had it been there? He'd been awake since 6:10 afterall! When I got to the main floor everything that he's seen me use Windex on had been Windexed. Thankfully not the walls but the TV, the foyer sliding mirrored doors, the patio doors, the oven door, even the front of the microwave. And in the process he tells me he also Windexed his pajamas because they were dirty too! There were little blue drips of Windex all over the carpet and kitchen floor. At least it doesn't stain (thank-you Johnson and Johnson!) but I spent about 10 minutes wiping it all up.

On a brighter note, everything that needed to be Windexed on the main level is done and now I'll make sure to remember to put away everything and write a note as a reminder instead!

33 Weeks

Yep, the thirty pounds are certainly beginning to show on my face! Thankfully I only have 6 weeks or so to go. My goal was to gain 40 and I'm on pace for less than that, which I'm thrilled with! My belly hasn't grown at all in the last 2 prenatal visits which is also good news. The baby must have had one massive growth spurt and is now taking it easy. The movement is more like squirms now rather than single kicks and punches, which is cool. I love watching my belly contort from the baby within. What a blessing!

My Hamm-y Boy

I've always known that Shaun is a bit of a dork. Afterall, I'm pretty dorky and so is Craig so we couldn't expect Shaun to even be halfway normal. He seems to say the strangest things and it really makes us think about how his brain is working. When I actually think about it, he only has basically a year of life experience to go on so the things he says are so funny to us, but he's really serious about them - he's not trying to be funny.

You know how traffic lights are set up, with the 3 different colors of lights. Well, Shaun understands what each color of light represents (stop, go, stop if you can) and knows where each color is situated. We were sitting at an intersection last week and he mentioned that the light was a funny one. It didn't look any different than any other light in the city so we asked him why it was funny looking. He told us it was funny because the green light wasn't at the bottom. Sure enough, there was a dark space at the bottom for a flashing advanced green arrow to show up. I was amazed that Shaun actually noticed that and that he was able to articulate why he thought the light was funny. I've talked to him before about flashing green lights because there's one in our neighbourhood that we come across all the time, but it's just a green light, no arrow. By the way, he says that a flashing green light means 'go quickly' because the light is being quick. I suppose that makes sense to a 2 1/2 year old.

He saw one of our neighbor boys in the parking lot this afternoon when we got back from grocery shopping. This little boy's dad's name is Sean so we call him Big Sean and my Shaun is Little Shaun. Anyway, Shaun was talking to Aiden about what we bought at the grocery store and then out of the blue announced that he's 2 1/2 but he's almost 3. And will be 3 in August when the baby comes. We've certainly taught him to explain how old he is but why on earth did he think it necessary to tell Aiden? Aiden's like, 5 maybe. He certainly didn't care and Shaun was a little hurt that Aiden didn't care. He looked at me and asked if Aiden heard how old he is. That's something that's so strange for Shaun to care about - his age.

I never posted about this back in May because I was too absorbed with my belly photos (I think, although thinking back, I may have written something about this, I can't remember now). We went to see the fireworks for Victoria Day weekend. They were set to music and were beautiful. I love fireworks. They make me feel like a little kid again as I stare up at the sky and wonder how all those colors are crammed into such a tiny package. Shaun saw fireworks while we were camping last summer but I'm sure he didn't remember them. He wasn't even quite 2 years old yet. He was almost as excited for the fireworks as I was and while he waited patiently for them to start was dancing to the music and shaking his tiny little bum. Once they started I glanced at his face as he was snuggled in my lap and it was glowing with the colors from the sky. I started to cry. And not just a couple of tears. I was sobbing enough that Craig asked if I was okay. Maybe it was pregnancy hormones or maybe I was genuinely moved by the music and Shaun's reaction to the fireworks but it took me a good 10 minutes to compose myself. Then Shaun broke his silence and turned to look at me and asked if the fireworks hurt the sky. Wow, was that what he was thinking about for the ten minutes he was quiet? That's amazing. He was so worried that the banging was hurting the sky and the moon and stars. That's so thoughtful and profound but amazingly literal at the same time. And, of course, because I'm a sap, I started to cry again. This time not as much but there were still a few tears and my nose got all plugged again.

Do all 2 1/2 year olds think about stuff like that? How many parents miss that because they don't listen to their kids? Craig and I pride ourselves on how much we talk with Shaun about simple stuff like traffic lights and waterfalls and the name for the little thing on the top of the pop can that pushes the hole open (it's a pop tab). Maybe it's just his personality that he's interested in all that stuff but I think it has more to do with us always taking the time to explain that stuff to him. He knows he can ask us a question and we'll answer him with a real explanation. Even my sister's husband noticed when Shaun and I visited last weekend that I explain everything to Shaun. I think that's why he's such a great kid; because he understands why things are the way they are. Okay, enough bragging about Shaun. I really am so proud of him but I know that every single parent feels exactly the same about their kid and they don't actually care about how proud I am of Shaun. Boy, am I going to compare this next baby to him... poor kid!

30 Weeks or 35??

It's been 2 weeks since I posted last. How is that possible? There's no way it's been 2 weeks since I've been here. Where are the days going???

I had a midwife appointment yesterday morning that Shaun came to with me. He started asking as soon as we were in the room if he could do the gel part and turn on the dopplar. What a highlight! Maggie, my original midwife, is off indefinitely on sick leave so now my back up, Pooja, will be the main one and will deliver my baby. I'll meet my new back up in a couple weeks. I'm down to visits every 2 weeks now. It'll be exciting to get to listen to the baby so often. I still get excited hearing the heartbeat.

I've been measuring about 1-2 weeks ahead this whole pregnancy. That's no surprise because I was with Shaun too. Yesterday I nearly fell off the bed when Pooja told me I'm measuring 5 weeks ahead! 5 weeks, are you kidding me?! I don't think I've grown all that much in the 3 weeks since my last appointment but apparently I have. Pooja is sending me for an ultrasound on Wednesday to check up on the baby, do some measurements and check the amniotic fluid too. Apparently a higher than normal amount of fluid is sometimes an indicator of GD. I had my glucose tolerance test 2 weeks ago and it all came back normal but that's not to say something hasn't cropped up in the meantime. Also, if I do have an excess of fluid it could pose a greater risk if my water were to break because the cord can prolapse. I'm doing my very best to think positively and just be glad to be getting another ultrasound. Worrying will do me no good for the time being.

My urine test was a little off too. Glucose was nil but the protein had risen from 'trace' amounts 3 weeks ago to +1 yesterday. I don't know the actual measurement but I think that protein goes from nil all the way up to +4. Most often, protein is a sign of infection, like a UTI or something, but in some cases it's a sign that pre-eclampsia is lurking. My blood pressure has been fine this whole pregnancy so I'm hoping it's just an infection and my kidneys aren't working just right. I have to drop a sample off to the lab on Monday. At least it's not blood... this time.

To compare, I put my 31 week photo with Shaun beside the 30 week one from yesterday. Without stating the obvious, am I really THAT much bigger???

5 Green Speckled Frogs

I only had to sing this song once to Shaun and then he took over! We don't have any frogs in the tubby toy basket so a racoon, 2 squirrels and a baby tiger had to do. He didn't seem to mind!

Five green and speckled frogs

Sat on a speckled log

Eating some most delicious bugs

Yum Yum!

One jumped into the pool

Where it was nice and cool

Now there are four green speckled frogs

Glub Glub!

An Adventure with my Boys

I love spring! I love winter too... and summer and fall, but really, I LOVE SPRING. I think it's because I just feel so rejuvenated. After a long cold winter with too much snow and not enough vacation, along comes spring with flowers everywhere, sunshine almost every day and temperatures warm enough that I don't have to worry about a jacket. The birds sing so loud it's amazing they don't need throat drops to soothe themselves. And everyone's happy. It seems no matter where I look in spring, there's happiness everywhere: in the animals, in people, in the sky. Did I mention that I love spring?

We decided to head down to the river today to search for tadpoles. Shaun and I went down there this time last year and the water lapping at the shore was thick and black with billions of tadpoles. I went armed with an empty pickle jar this year, hoping to scoop some up and bring them home. I was disappointed that there weren't any tadpoles yet - well, we did see one. Yup, one lonely tadpole. I didn't have the heart to take the only one in the whole river. Shaun and I will return in a couple weeks and hopefully all the mummy frogs will have spit out their eggs by then so I can borrow a few. Shaun's so interested in anything having to do with nature right now that Craig and I thought having tadpoles would be really cool. I just have to do some research on what to feed those tiny things. Any suggestions??

Since there weren't any tadpoles we walked a trail to a long dock jutting out into the middle of the river. Last year there was a muskrat that swam out from under the dock that nearly sent me flying into the river with surprise. The muskrat wasn't there today. Shaun figured it was out fishing. *shrug* The three of us sat on the dock in the warm sun for a while and then Craig decided to go exploring with Shaun further down the trail. They found a skeleton and deer tracks. I wish I'd gone with them. I'm fascinated by skeletons. When I was a little girl, my dad and I found a skeleton of a raccoon under a bridge by a river where I grew up and he brought it home, bleached all the flesh off the bones and glued it all back together. My brother and I had the best show and tell EVER! I still have that raccoon skeleton in a shoe box in my daycare chest, just waiting for the time when I start my own daycare in my home and can pull it out to impress all the kids.

28 weeks belly photo. The blur in the front is Shaun trying to scoot quickly in front of the camera before hearing the "click". He was too slow. Lovely.

27 Weeks

Okay, 27 weeks. I can't believe how much this baby grew since the last photo! My uterus has grown to just below my ribs and is causing them to expand out a little, meaning my bras don't fit quite as nice anymore! I was wanting to wait until the baby was born to go and buy some new nursing bras but I'm going to have to get some earlier than I thought if I'm going to avoid having the underwires digging into me!

Also, my midwife moved my due date back 3 days so I'm now officially due on August 8. It's actually better I feel, because this way I have that much longer to go into labour on my own before there's worry of complications from going overdue (although I HOPE I won't be). Because of the new due date, I'm taking photos on Friday now instead of Tuesday, so maybe the amount of belly-growth is more due to the fact that it's been 2 1/2 weeks since my last photo instead of only 2 weeks, like the gestation would otherwise indicate.

Oh, and that thing at the bottom of the photo beside my hand, it's some of Shaun's toys that I was rotating that I hadn't gotten around to putting away yet. I'm usually really conscious of what's sharing the photo with me but the bag of play food missed my attention. No worries.

Buddy

I heard Shaun talking to someone a couple of weeks ago while he was eating dinner and I had quickly run to the bathroom. I chalked it up to him talking with the fat cat that always sits on the empty chair and wills food to drop to the floor so she can nibble on it. Then a couple days ago it happened again; he was talking to someone while I ran down the basement for a moment.

Finally when he turned and spoke to the air yesterday while we were sitting eating dinner together I asked him who he was talking to. "My friend, Buddy, Mum," as if I should have known. Apparently Buddy is Shaun's new friend who sits beside him at the table. So far I haven't seen Buddy appear anywhere else in the house except when we're eating. Buddy is a boy but only talks to Shaun and his favourite food is corn. Go figure, that's one of Shaun's favourite foods too.

I've known for a while that Shaun really needs a friend his age to just be a kid with. His play is so different when he's with another child than with me or Craig. Now that the warmer weather is here we've been spending a fair amount of time outside and he's made friends with a little boy from our complex who is only a week or so younger. I've felt relief that this may be the social aspect of Shaun's life that has been missing. I guess I was wrong because now Buddy has appeared. It's too cute to listen to him ask Buddy what he'd like to eat and encourage Buddy to take "just one bite". That's our rule: you have to take at least one bite of everything that's being served. Buddy doesn't talk much and Shaun hasn't played with Buddy as of yet but I'm sure the more he explores the world of pretend and imagination that Buddy will become a permanent feature in Shaun's life. It's sort of creepy that Shaun has an imaginary friend but it's really cool at the same time. He's only 2 1/2 and already has identified that having a friend is important; and if he can't have a real friend, he'll make one up.

I wonder what Buddy's mum thinks of him eating here all the time instead of at home? I have to remind myself to let this whole story-line follow Shaun's lead and not get too involved. I tend to want to direct play too often and don't let it find its own course. He's awake from his nap right now but playing in his room. I can hear him over the monitor talking about planes and helicopters. I wonder who he's talking to...

And So, We Meet

Craig and I had discussed back in the first trimester getting a 3D ultrasound done. Extra ultrasounds above and beyond the standard aren't covered by OHIP so it would cost us $169.50 out of our pocket. Originally I decided I wasn't going to get it done but the more I felt the baby moving inside me, the more I realized how much I wanted to meet this baby early. Shaun and I went today and Mum joined us. Craig couldn't get time off in the middle of his shift so I'm thrilled my Mum could come and share the scan with me. It would have been so different if I was by myself.

Peek a Boo!

I was amazed at how much the baby moves that I don't feel. It was squirming the whole time! And we got some great shots on DVD of the baby yawning and stretching. One yawn was so big it stuck out its tongue and everything. So amazing that this a life we started together.

We had decided back at the last ultrasound that we don't want to know the gender this time around. I knew the chance of the gender remaining a mystery after this scan was slim but baby cooperated and kept its legs closed! It must have known that we want it to stay a surprise until its birth day. Funnily enough I don't have any strong feelings one way or another. I had been thinking for a while that I may be carrying a boy but now I'm not sure. It's strange that so many people say they just "know" the gender of their baby before even an ultrasound. Do they say that AFTER they know that their hunch was right? What does that feel like, to know what gender your baby is without actually knowing for certain? I have to admit that I haven't even had a single dream about the gender of this baby. That must mean that it really doesn't matter to me and that it's not on my mind. I've been dreaming of all sorts of bizarre things lately, from the brakes not working on the van to my favourite TV show being nothing but commercials for the whole half hour, but the baby hasn't appeared in any yet.

I'm finding it harder to bond with this baby. When I was pregnant with Shaun I would sit and read after coming home from work and nudge my belly whenever he'd kick or squirm. I remember spending hours in the rocking chair before he was born, reading outloud and singing favourite songs from childhood. I haven't done that specifically for this baby yet. Granted, I read every night aloud to Shaun and I sing countless children's songs every day with him (his favourite right now is Herman the Worm) so that helps with the guilt I feel that I don't have as much time to enjoy this pregnancy. I always knew that this pregnancy would be different. I'm busier. Our routine has changed. I've been here before and the little nudges throughout the day aren't new anymore so I don't notice them as much. It's sad, really. I'm almost mourning this pregnancy before it's even 3/4 done. Craig commented to me tonight that it seems to be going a lot quicker than with Shaun. I agree! I'll probably have just as many days to enjoy having a tiny life all to myself as I did with Shaun but I'm busy caring for another little life at the same time. I wonder what it will be like with 2 children? No wonder so many people plan to have their second child when the first is old enough for school.

A New Bike for Shaun

So this morning, Poppy and Nana brought by a new bike for Shaun. The first one was a little too big for his short little legs so we quickly exchanged that one for a smaller one and Poppy and Nana threw in a helmet in the deal! Shaun spent the whole afternoon driving up and down the path behind our house. At first he would get frustrated because his legs aren't strong enough to do a complete rotation of the pedals but then he figured out that he could push from the back like a scooter and that just made his day!

Thanks Poppy and Nana for the awesome present!!

25 Weeks

I'm right in the middle of my favourite point of pregnancy: 5 to about 7 months. Although it would probably be longer if I wasn't always pregnant in the dreadful heat of the summer. By this point I'm obviously pregnant and no longer just 'letting myself go', plus I have the energy of a race horse and feel like my old self again. Maternity clothes still fit well and my boobs aren't leaking all over the place just yet. I get gentle reminder throughout the day that I have a human growing inside me but not enough to make me uncomfortable. The zits of early pregnancy seem to have disappeared along with the morning sickness. Overall, I think I'd like to be 5 1/2 months pregnant forever. Well, maybe not forever, but if I could arrange to be feeling and looking like I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant for the entire 9 months, I'd have a dozen kids at least by now! And I'm sure Craig would be more open to having more children if I had the emotional stability of a 5 1/2 month pregnant woman for the whole time. :)