Adjustments

We're doing well. I think if I said that life was hectic it would be the biggest understatement of 2010. I'm lucky to be able to grab 15 minutes a day at the computer and have the use of both my hands at the same time. I feel like I've fallen behind on everything: laundry, dishes, playing with Shaun and Ian, regular baths for the kids (and myself for that matter!), keeping up with friends via email, even the cats are lucky to get fed by me. At least they still get their morning and late night meals from Craig. Otherwise they would have whithered away by now and I probably would be wondering what the terrible smell was and thinking it had been a while since I'd seen them.

But this is wonderful. I love how busy this house is. Not that it wasn't before, it's just moreso now. I find so much joy in watching Shaun and Ian interacting with Kyle. They give him little tiny kisses on the top of his head or rock him ever so gently in the swing. Shaun gets so excited when he's holding Kyle and Kyle's looking right at him. Ian peeks over the side of the playpen to catch a peek at Kyle in the bassinet when he comes down from his nap or if Kyle is starting to cry. For the mostpart things have stabilized here. I'm getting to know Kyle's routine better and I can recognize his type of cry most of the time. That's been making it a lot easier to help him out and comfort him.

Unfortunately, Shaun's been acting out at school quite a bit over the past couple of weeks. It wasn't an issue until last Monday when his teacher mentioned to me when I picked him up that Shaun had been quite snippy with his classmates that day and it had sort of been an ongoing thing. She acknowledged that there's been quite the transition at home but to me that doesn't excuse him being snippy and snarky with his friends and especially his teacher. Plus, it's not like Shaun hasn't done this whole new baby thing before. He was great after Ian arrived so I can't quite figure out where this new attitude is coming from. Actually, no, that's not true.

I think it's come from me. I'm naturally quite sharp with people and basically tell it like it is. These days I don't have time to sit and mess around with Shaun when it's time to do something or go somewhere. I have 2 other children who are far more needy than him who need my help so I've been, well, snippy with him. I can't even think of any specific examples but I know the attitude has come from me. He's been a little snarky with us here too and as soon as I've seen that side of him come out, I recognize myself immediately. So what sort of a solution have we come to as far as his behaviour?

Friday night Craig and I sat with Shaun and had a very long discussion with him about his behaviour, asking him how he thought it made his friends feel and his teacher feel (Oh! I forgot to add that last Friday is when the shit his the fan. He called his teacher a dufus. She told Craig and was quite upset. Craig made Shaun apologize on the spot and then Craig and I pow-wowd and spoke with Shaun Friday night.). For the most part he seemed to 'get it' but he was still being snippy with us so he got grounded from all his nighttime buddies for the whole weekend. Three sleeps. That's a very long time for a kid who makes it sound like he's DYING in the middle of the night if he wakes up and his favourite bear, Ted, has fallen out of bed.

For the most part he did okay, only waking up once the first night and coming into our room for some hugs. The second night he was a lot more dramatic at bedtime and then again in the middle of the night when he woke up without Ted. We didn't budge on the grounding so when the third night arrived, he was a little weepy at bedtime but went to sleep without as much as a fuss and slept the whole night through.

Today when I picked Shaun up from school I asked his teacher how his day went. The deal was that Shaun would get Ted back for bed tonight only if he had a better day today. She hesitated when I asked her how it went today. I didn't get too much out of her because she wasn't wearing a coat and it was bloody freezing outside so we couldn't chat long but basically she said he went from one extreme to the other. From being so snarky with his classmates last week, today he was so polite with everyone it was almost annoying. She said he was exaggerating all of his Thank You's and Please's and saying them very loudly. I figure he was making sure she heard him being kind and polite with everyone because he knew I was going to ask her at pick-up. Hopefully he can come to some sort of comfortable place within himself where he can be back to being the polite little man he's always been.

Maybe it's just because I'm Shaun's mum but it actually kind of bothers me that Mrs. McNaughton said that Shaun's exaggerated politeness was annoying. What does she want?!

So anyway, I've made it my mission to practice what I preach and made every effort to be patient and kind to Shaun today. It certainly made a difference in how his morning went so hopefully we're on the right track. I don't know what else we can do if his behaviour keeps up!