Heartbreak #1

It's only been a week but so much has happened. Last Monday afternoon I took Shaun for a chest x-ray because his cough isn't going away. The technicial asked me if I was pregnant, and even offered for me to take a test. But I lied and told her I had taken a test that morning (even though I hadn't) and it was negative. Well, Wednesday morning I decided to take my last pregnancy test on a hunch. I still don't know why; it was mid-morning and I had been feeling period cramps for days. I was so surprised when a big pink + showed up. Right away I felt sick to my stomach; I was pregnant when I was with Shaun for his x-ray!!

Craig wanted to wait until we talked to Dr. McKinnon Thursday morning before telling anyone. How did he know to wait? Shaun had his 15-month app't Thursday morning and I had one to go over my testerone blood test results. Well, the nurse had me do a urine sample and she dipped to check for pregnancy. I could tell by her face when she came back in the room, that it wasn't good news.

She told us the test said I wasn't pregnant and that there was a lot of blood in the sample too. By the time Dr. McKinnon came in to talk to us I had already started miscarrying. Even though we had just found out the day before and I honestly didn't feel pregnant, I was still destroyed wiht guilt. I kept thinking of the x-ray killing our baby! I've realized something through all my research on miscarriage though: I was having symptoms of miscarriage on the weekend; before the x-ray. I had period cramps and an ache in my lower back. Then very early Thursday morning I awoke with dark spotting. I also read on the internet that most often a miscarriage will begin at least a week after a baby dies. That means that on Monday already I wasn't pregnant anymore. I know in my heart that I didn't cause this miscarriage. Whatever it was, it's best that it happened because we have no idea how the x-ray would have affected a healthy baby. I read it could cause cancer, extra or missing digits, heart malformations or even death.

I wasn't even feeling pregnant at all so I know I couldn't have done anything to prevent this. Even if I had taken a test on Monday and even if it had come out positive, I know that everything would have still happened the same way. But it still really hurts that a baby died inside me. But my testosterone test was way normal. That's fabulous! It means that we just haven't been catching the egg; until this month of course!

And Shaun's x-ray showed right frontal lobs pneumonia but we're waiting to give him antibiotics because he seems to be getting better on his own.

I Think It Was a Bust

I'm 99% sure I'm not pregnant this cycle only I haven't gotten my period yet. Last cycle it was day 48, the couple before that were around 35 and 43. It's so hard to know! And I'm being really objective this time around and I don't have any symptoms. I'm not tired, have no nausea, I've been peeing only as much as I was before; even though it's time to test I refuse to waste one. If I was feeling more pregnant then for sure.

We just got home from spending the weekend at my parents. Steve and Tamrah were there and Tara and Wes came for Sunday. It was so much fun with the whole house so busy and full. It's going to be really quiet for mum and dad tonight! Shaun was incredible all weekend. He ate well, slept great and behaved incredibly! Considering all the terrible things he's been dealing with lately: an awful cough, aggressive rash, strained ankle, bruise on the cheek from a closet door, sore tongue and various bonks on the head, it was as if nothing was wrong.

I'm seeing Dr. McKinnon on Thursday for Shaun's 15-month check up and we'll go over my latest test results.

My Chatterbox

Oh my goodness, Shaun's talking so much! He has so many words I think I've lost count. For a long time he would do a lot of mimicking or he'd only say words when we prompted him. Now, if he sees something that he knows the name of, he says it. It's so incredible to hear him learn so fast!

Okay, let me think for a moment. He knows the sounds for: lion, aligator, cat, dog, snake, duck. And we're trying to teach him bird, mouse, cow and monkey (that one's Craig's idea).

But words that he says without prompting:
baby (bebe)
Ted (nah)
shoe (soo-ee)
sock (saah)
light (it-eh)
more (me)
nummy
banana (nana)
duck (cack)
cat (he meows)
dog (he woofs)
Mummy
Daddy
story (so-we)
bath (bah)
done (nah)

Oh man, I'm sure there's more. I didn't even have to think about that list. Vacuum is another (cum). He and I were stopped at traffic lights the other day and there was a lady on the sidewalk walking with a dog and a baby in a stroller. Not only did Shaun woof for the dog but he said baby too! How did he know?? I remember how surprised I was to see the 14 month old in Walmart when Shaun was 2 months say baby. Now that kid is Shaun! YAY!

I've been diligently charting my BBT and it appears that 3 days ago I ovulated. That's why I started charting: to see if I was ovulating. And it appears that I am. Soo, maybe this is our month? It HAS to happen eventually right?

A Couple New Words

Yep, I wasn't pregnant. I figured we couldn't be so lucky. I ended up getting my period 4 days after that last entry; one day before I was going to test again. And good thing too because I would have been furious if I had wasted another test!

Shaun's been doing some pretty hammy things recently. His giggle is by far the silliest. He does it mostly when he's conscious of people watching him; almost as if he's showing off. And he'll puff out his chest and walk around like that. Craig and I think it's completely hilarious. Shaun's been talking a whole lot too. When he sees a dog he'll bark or a cat, he meows "mauw, mauw". He'll pick up his shoes and say "so-wee" and "titty" or "ba-ba" for Kitty and Boo-Boo. Wherever we go people always comment on how much he talks for 13 months. You know, I never notice it because I'm just used to it but I guess he does.

We went to Shantzholm pumpkin patch this morning with Lisa and the boys. It was $2 for the 3 of us for a hayride and a pumpkin - what economical entertainment! It was pretty chilly outside but we were dressed warm and had a great time. Shaun saw goats, ponys and a dog named Max. He liked the goats the best. We'll have to go again next year... anything for cheap entertainment!

A New Sister in Law

I have a bit of news. News that I should have remembered for the last entry but somehow forgot: My brother, Steve, and Tamrah are getting married! I heard the news from them about a week and a half ago when they dropped by here. AND Steve's starting college in January! It's a program called Geomatics and is basically programming intelligent maps like GoogleEarth. According to dad every utility company in the country uses those types of programs but there's not enough people who know how they work. I guess that there's 2 employers for every graduate. So Steve and Tamrah are moving to Lindsay (close to Peterborough) by January. I know, a lot of incredible positive changes.

We were at the cottage this weekend and I was having pregnancy symptoms all weekend. Well, only one really... nauseousness. And I'd like to think that I'm not imagining it this time. I've been dismissing that I've been feeling yucky for a while; around a week. Saying things like "I'm just hungry", or "I haven't been getting enough sleep". I actually took a test on Thursday morning last week but I had hardly any pee and it was negative. But if I haven't started by Friday, say, (that'll be day 49) I'll take another one.

I'm totally going to expect my period (rather than the alternative) only because I have to look at my history of predicting pregnancy. It hasn't been all that accurate. Guess I'll either have a "Yep, I wasna't pregnant" beginning the next entry or a "I knew it!"

<>

Little Walkin' Man

Shaun's walking! He started just over 2 weeks ago. It started with him taking a couple of steps towards something (a toy, the laundry basket) and he improved so quickly we were shocked. It was almost like he's learn while he was sleeping because when he'd get up i nthe morning he'd be better than when he went to bed. I've already taken him to the apple orchard with Tara, and Craig and I would like to bring him to a pumpkin patch and a hayride this fall!
We're still trying to get pregnant. I actually started charting my BBT about 10 days ago; planning on not getting pregnant this time around but having a head start on next months chart. I've read that if you're having a period you're ovulating but mine are so irregular it's nearly impossible to know.
The Caravan was written off and after searching for almost a month we found an Oldsmobile Silhouette that we absolutely love. Insurance settled with us for $1000 MORE than we paid for the Caravan so we were able to afford the van upgrade. It's given us some minor problems with the brakes but that's all been covered under warranty.

Minivan Woes!

Get this: we're driving home from the cottage a week and a half ago and in Aurora (halfway between Barrie and Toronto) the van starts to overheat. So I pull over and Craig puts some water into the radiator because it was super low. A police cruiser pulls up behind us, we explain what's happening and both vehicles pull back onto the 400. Within 100 metres the van is overheating again so we pull back over on the shoulder and Craig goes to ask the officer if he can drive him to the next exit to get some coolant for the engine. No problem, Craig returns and fills up the radiator but realizes he's forgotten his wallet at the gas station. So the officer accompanies us to make sure Craig gets it back and then we part ways. Before we even get back on the highway the engine is overheating again so we pull off onto a gravel shoulder and start to talk about what we're going to do. Craig and I quickly realize that we were not going to be able to drive the van that night. I start thinking about sleeping in the van and finding a mechanic in the morning so we could get it repaired and go home the following morning. As I'm mentally preparing myself, a CAA towtruck pulls in front of us. After looking at the truck for a few minutes, Craig goes to ask the driver if he can take a look at the van. Dennis figures that the coolant just hasn't had the opportunity to seep into the engine since we put it in and suggests I idle at 2000RPM to allow the coolant to spread. The temperature slowly creeps down then shoots back up to HIGH and there's steam and sizzling coming from under the van! No worries, says Dennis, it's just a broken hose, less than $100 to fix. And he can tow us home if we have CAA. Hmmm, we don't but Craig's dad does. Oh, but Wayne's at Uncle Jim's cottage and we don't have the number. That's okay, we think, Lisa has CAA too and her husband didn't go to the cottage and is home with the car. I called Chris long distance on the cell phone and he didn't have the CAA card in the car, Lisa had it in her wallet! So we looked in the phone book we keep in the van (thank goodness it was in there) for Uncle Jim's phone number. Then we get the cottage number from him and sure enough call it and it's BUSY, BUSY, BUSY. Ten minutes we try and finally Lisa answers. We quickly get Wayne's CAA card number and get a $350 tow for free. Unbelievable. Craig ended up giving Dennis $20 as a thanks for helping us so much.

On Thursday morning Craig takes the van to Canadian Tire for an estimate. Since C.T. is so close the van didn't overheat and he was able to drive it there and home with no problem. The problem was more major than we though and C.T. quoted us $860 to get the repair done! Craig called me here at home and asked me to call Total Auto Service to get a quote from him. $411 plus tax. That was it; Craig brought the van home and we had it towed to Total Auto Service Friday afternoon. The repair couldn't be done until Monday but the van wasn't driveable anywey. So we rented a car from Enterprise for the weekend. Saturday morning Craig let me sleep in because I had a monster headache. He gets a call around 10AM from the police! The van has been stolen from the shop!

So we place a claim with Pilot that morning and they upgrade our car rental to a van. Actually a Caravan for the weekend and then an Uplander once Monday came.

We haven't heard from insurance about whether the van is a write off or not but we have a feeling the engine is destroyed (the Police called later in the week to tell us the van was found dumped on a country road). So we've been busy looking on the internet for another van - how frustrating.

Hopefully we'll hear tomorrow whether our beautiful new van will be repaired or written off.

Mourning the Baby

Aahh!! I'm finished worrying about constantly thinking about if I'm pregnant or not. This is so frustrating! I'm back at the beginning again, day 2.
This weekend has been pretty hot; around 32 or 33 each day and that's before the humidex. And the end of last week was really warm too. I'm looking forward to a break. It's supposed to drop back to normal mid-week.
We're leaving for the cottage Friday night when Craig's done work. And just a moment ago I talked to Craig about bringing the cats with us; we're bringing them! Yay! We both think it just won't be fair to leave them here in a hot, stuffy house all by themselves for 5 days while we're somewhere they'd love to be! I'll have to make a list later this week of stuff I need to pack. And I'd like to give the house a complete once-over before we leave too so I don't have to do any of it when we get home on Tuesday or Wednesday. Yeah, the next session with Melissa is going to start 2 weeks from today since Craig's on vacation (thus, so am I) on the WEdnesday that Aaron leaves. It'll be nice to have 3 or 4 days less... and I think I'm dont with her Sept. 16 maybe. Heh.
Shaun's growing up so fast! Craig and I think he may have had a growth spurt recently because he certainly seems bigger than last weekend. I actually had an afternoon this past week where I just watched Shaun playing and I was able to reminisce. I cried a bit and felt pretty sad for a while; I just miss the baby-baby he was only a few months ago. We both completely enjoy Shaun right now but it's hard to move on from where he was. Especially since it feels like it's going so quickly. Eleven months and before we know it, it will have been a year since I was struggling with breast feeding and changing diapers.

Stair Climber

Shaun learned to do so much last week! On Thursday Craig taught Shaun to go up stairs. Once he figured out he could do that Shaun's been pulling up to stand at everything. He had been so close for so long - pulling himself to his knees and sometimes balancing there for a whole minute - that I'm not surprised at all that he's caught on so quickly. There's been a bunch of times that he's let go of whatever has been supporting him while he's standing and has remained standing for 6 or 7 seconds. He was so proud of himself when he stood for the first time. And the last couple of days he's been cruising the furniture. First it was only a step or two, almost by accident, but now he actually thinks about it. You can tell he cruises deliberately. He'll hold on to the couch too and then turn his body to grab the coffee table. He's learned so quickly.
On a completely different topic I'm finding it really hard to keep up with all the housework lately. I've been so tired. Craig and I had a minor spat yesterday about it. I'm really going to have to be diligent at keeping up on it. His concern was the vacuuming now that Shaun's crawling. Craig's worried about the amount of cat hair Shaun's been picking up on his hands. I can understand that!
So on another topic, I've been feeling pregnancy symptoms again! *sigh* This is getting old real fast. I've been really tired and crampy for just over a week. I don't want to get all excited again so I haven't said a thing to Craig about how I've been feeling. I think there's been enough false alarms lately that he won't get excited until there's a positive pregnancy test. I actually took one a few days ago but it was one that had been out of the package for a month and the line that was supposed to appear in the control window never appeared. So I won't even know if the negative that appeared (or didn't, depending on how you look at it) was accurate or not. It probably was. I only say that because I'm pretty sure it was too early for a test. A few more days to wait!
The nauseousness comes and goes in waves. Ripe bananas make me feel the worst. Blech!!

Changing Again

So it's late, I'm exhausted, and I'm not going to write for long. But Shaun's schedule has changed again. It's becoming more and more like that of a preschooler every day. His morning is the same, eating at 8AM and 12PM with an hour and a half nap between. But it's the afternoon that's different. We've been allowing Shaun to sleep as long as he wants in the afternoon. When he wakes up, somewhere between 3 and 4PM he gets a snack. Yogurt, cheese, applesauce, whatever. And then he eats dinner with us when we eat. It's a bit more hectic but I love that he eats everything we do!

A Bout of Roseola

Shaun has a mystery rash today. He had it yesterday too. I called Lisa and asked her about the rash Joseph had a few weeks ago and strangely enough the two boys are identical. Shaun had a fever around 101 for 2 days on the weekend first. We just thought the fever was from Shaun being in the hot sun but after a night and another day he still had a low fever. By the time we got home from camping the fever was gone but he was still miserable so we blamed the teething. But yesterday morning when I was changing him I noticed a slight rash on his back. By the time evening rolled around the rash was all over his torse and it was still there today although not as bad. But Shaun's been happy and back to normal; the rash doesn't seem to bother him at all. Lisa said Joseph's lasted around a day and a half. We'll see if Shaun still has it tomorrow and if so, I'll take him to the doctor.

On another note, it's official: Shaun can say 2 words, Ted and uh-oh. He actually said Ted first last week on Wednesday when we were walking upstairs at Xan and Bailey's. Xan was going to bed and I think Shaun thought he was going too because halfway up the stairs he started chattering about Det, Det. I had thought he may be saying Ted but it's for sure now because he says it all the time. Uh-oh came on Friday last week in the morning before leaving for camping. Whenever Shaun drops stuff I'll say uh-oh and last Friday he copied me. But the funniest is how he says it: uh............oh, with a huge space between each word.

I have to write a few insignificant things because I'm sure Shaun will stop doing them soon but mostly because I know I will forget. We have a piece of wood between the living room carpet and the laminate floor in the kitchen. When Shaun's approaching it he'll put his bim way up in the air and crawl using his feet instead of his knees. The bump must hurt his knees!

Another thing that's completely hilarious is how Shaun interacts with the cats, especially Pokey. Pokey's such a nut she'll just lay on the carpet and let Shaun molest her; poking her and pulling her hair. There's been a couple of times that he's pulled her hair so hard she's actually been lifted off the floor.

Oh, something else that's official, Shaun likes cat food! Yesterday he got into the container that we keep the cat food in and by the time I got to him he had 1 or 2 pieces in his mouth and a whole hand full waiting. Shaun was so angry at me when I took the food away too! He must have enjoyed it. Crazy monster...

The First Word

Oh gosh, it's only been a month and I don't know where to begin the updating. This may seem a tad scrambled but that's because my thoughts are in a jumble trying to keep everything straight.

My period came on Friday June 16. It was day 50; actually I had bought 2 tests that morning and when I went into the bathroom to take one there was my little friend, grinning at me. One more disappointing month. We'll really have to concentrate on getting pregnant soon or the next baby will be a summer baby... great for the kid but miserable for me!

Shaun started crawling almost 3 weeks ago on Thursday June 6. It took him about a week to get really good but now there's no stopping him. The cats sure learned quick that the safest place for them is out of his path. Kitty will sit on the stairs and tease Shaun, sitting just out of his reach. Ahh, big sisters!

We went camping at Guelph Lake Conservation Area from Tuesday to Friday last week. Lisa, Matthew and Joseph were with us for the first night and half of the next day. It was really nice to be with them on our own - no other family or kids. This Friday we're leaving again to go camping with Mum and Dad. It's going to be an amazing time!

We bought a van finally. YAY!! Wayne and Leah's neighbour, Lorraine, smashed her van and bought our car for $6300. And 2 Thursdays ago on June 15 we drove up to Toronto and got the van. It's amazing and I have no idea how we would have packed for camping without it. It's going to make life so much easier albeit mroe expensive. It's a Dodge Grand Caravanm Sport and I'm in love with it.

Shaun's eating everything that we are now... and loving it. And it's wierd stuff that he likes too: olives, feta cheese, dad even gave him red wine and Shaun gobbled it up! What a strange little man.

We need to play with Shaun's schedule again. He's dropped another nursing recently so now he's down to only 2 nursings a day. And he only needs his third nap one out of around every 3 days. I think he'll be ready for homo milk soon. I'm thinking around 11 months or so. But he sometimes still nurses mid-afternoon. I know it's probably not good to allow him to nurse at that time only when he wants but I love the time we have together. I wasn't ready for him to drop to 2 nursings so I figure, if he wants a 3rd sometimes, no problem.

Hmmm, what else has been going on. Oh, I'm convinced Shaun's been saying a couple of words. When he's eating and sees a banana or if I'm asking him about bananas he's say "na-na" every time. It's so consistent I don't think it's coincidence. And we think he says Ted too. When naptime arrives I'll ask him "where's Ted" and not only will he look around for Ted, but once Shaun finds him he'll say "Det, Det" or just "T, T, T". And again, he only says that when we're talking about Ted or if he sees Ted. It's pretty amazing.

And something else, Shaun dances!! When music is on he'll rock back and forth and smile and laugh. It's great because I dance with him all the time and he obviously learned from it.

Some New Tricks

The long weekend was brutal! Shaun had a fever on Saturday and I think he still wasn't feeling well on Sunday, Monday and most of Tuesday. He was cranky and miserable and wouldn't eat!

So I called Telehealth on Monday and asked about Shaun not eating, sleeping more than normal, and also mentioned that he fell off the bed at Grandma's house (!!!). The nurse said since he was still having wey diapers he was probably fine but to see a doctor in the next 2-3 days. Tuesday afternoon I called Dr. McKinnon who couldn't see Shaun that day but suggested I take him to Emergency instead. Now I was concerned that Shaun wasn't eating and not really drinking either but not enough that it required a visit to Emergency. Besides, we'd be last on their priority list and would probably sit in there for 10 hours!

So I waited it out instead. By Wednesday morning Shaun was eating and breastfeeding normally again. Thank goodness because I sure didn't want to put him on formula! And I moved his schedule around a bit too. It seems to be working okay so far but I think I'll have to doctor it a bit. It's hard for him to be up for an hour from 3-4PM waiting to eat. What I may do is offer him a snack at 3, like cheese chunks or something, and then actually feed him at 4 or 4:30. I think it'll take some experimenting.

On a different note: Shaun's learned some new tricks! He blows raspberries still but before it was just his lips. Now he actually sticks his tongue out to make them! And spit goes absolutely everywhere; it'll dribble down his chin and he'll just laugh. It's so adorable.

And when I was out doing groceries on Tuesday morning Shaun was playing with Craig on his tummy. Rather than just stay on his hands and knees Shaun was going up on his toes and sticking his bum way up in the air. Now whenever we place him on his tummy he spends half his time on all fours and the other half on hands and knees. He gets closer to craling every day.

Oh, something else too, Shaun can spin on his bum like a pro these days. I'm starting to think that maybe Shaun will scoot on his bum rather than crawl. He gets around pretty good that way, forwards and backwards. We'll see.

To change the subject, there are soon to be 3 new babies in our life. Helen was due on Monday and has an induction scheduled for Sunday I think. Danny and her are having a girl but I don't know what they decided to name her. Mary from Weight Watchers and her husband Greg were due on Monday too. But Mary doesn't know if it's a boy or a girl. That's nice. I kind of want it that way for the next baby too. And Moe called last night around 12:30. They were at the hospital and Erika was between 3 and 4 centimetres dilated. Hopefully we'll get the call that she's had the baby before Craig leaves for work so I can go see her in the hospital! Oh, how exciting!

Anyway, lots going on lately. I'm babysitting today too. That's going okay. It's busy but easy. And the hallways are being painted. They look really good. Shaun will be getting up very soon. Duty calls.

Sow Weight Gain

Shaun's not crawling yet. I suppose I'm okay with that but I'd like to see him crawl soon; just so I know he's developing normally.

I've been concerned about his slow weight gain lately too. I finally called Lisa on Wednesday and asked her when she started Matthew on meats. After some conversation I realized Shaun should have started eating meat more than 2 months ago!! So right away I gave him an egg yolk (hard boiled of course). He ate it but I think he had issues with the texture; which is understandable. And I cooked some chicked breasts in chicken broth and blended those up. Craig also gave Shaun some cheese yesterday. We're just going to start giving him more food. I took a look through the Teddy Bear's Picnic booklet and got some meal plan outlines. I'll keep Shaun on 5 feedings, the first 3 with solids.

This is what his schedule looks like:

• 8:00AM breastmilk, 6T cereal with formula, 4T fruit (2 ice cubes), 1/4 toast (whole wheat bread)
• 9:45 - 11:30AM naptime
• 11:30AM 2Tmeat (1 ice cube), 2-3T veg, 2T fruit, breastmilk (after solids)
• 1:15 - 3:00PM naptime
• 3:00PM 2T meat, 2-3T vegetables, 2T fruit, 1/2 slice toast, breastmilk (after solids)
• 5:15 - 6:00PM naptime
• 6:00PM breastmilk
• 8:00PM bath then breastmilk

Hopefully this new schedule will help him gain a little bit of weight. I'll switch back to breastmilk before mealtime once he gains a bit. For now I think he just needs more calories.

Mazda MPV

Okay, so day 47 of my cycle rolled around and my period finally decided to show up, so obviously I'm not pregnant. Oh well, we'll be trying in June or July anyway. Only a couple more periods until 15 months without them again. Yay!

Here's the scoop on the car information: after a LOT of research we have decided on the Mazda MPV. Internet reviews aside, we've heard only good things about them. And the Foells at the daycare have one and love it. We saw one at Wright's Automotive (David Elliott's neighbour) that had 72000 km, was a 2001 and listed at $11477. I couldn't believe it!

So Craig's been working really hard getting the car ready for sale and we just got it certified this morning. Now we're going to put it in the Auto Trader and hope it sells! It's listed for $7400 but we'll take the first offer for $6500 or better.

Shaun has 4 teeth now. The fourth one poked through last week. And he's weeks from crawling too. He and I have been doing some gardening outside lately and he's been eating the grass! Silly monster! I can't believe he's almost a year already!

Oh, and Erika's having her baby in 11 days or less! Wow, that's hard to believe; Erika's going to be a Mum!

Moving On...

So I'm extremely frustrated: since the last time I wrote I've taken THREE more tests. Saturday, April 15, and Sunday, April 16 (morning) then Thursday April 20 (again in the morning). So far all of them have been negative but Craig doesn't know about the one I took on the Saturday night.

And I still haven't gotten my period. All of the symptoms I thought I had are gone now. I'm beginning to think that maybe I invented them all along.

Craig thinks that maybe the period I got at Grandma and Grandpa's house was a fluke. Today is day 43 so the chances are really slim that I'm actually pregnant. *sigh* Oh well, I find solace in the fact that we're going to start trying to get pregnant in a few months anyway.

Craig and I have come to the realization that Shaun's slightly delayed in his gross motor development. I was at Mary's baby shower today and there was a little girl exactly 8 months old who was crawling and pulling herself up onto furniture. Shaun's not even close to doing any of that. But the sensible Michelle reminds me that life is better with Shaun not crawling. Especially since I've been looking after Xan and Bailey now. The house will sure be busy this summer with 2 babies crawling and Xan! And hopefully I'll be pregnant too. What's wrong with me? What am I thinking?!

Craig and I have been seriously looking at buying a minivan. The first thought was a Mazda MPV but Craig wasn't impressed with some of its reviews on the internet. Now we're focussed on the KIA Sedona. We're aiming at around $8000 for the car and we could probably get a Sedona for about $12000 but won't spend more than about $14000. We're hoping to go out tomorrow morning and price some of them. Strickland in Stratford has one for $10000. That's where dad has bought a couple of cars and says that Strickland's motto is "high volume, low profit". I'll have to call and find out how many kms.

I have so much more to write but so much more to take care of in the house...

Still Negative

Two pregnancy tests and both turned out to be negative. I did the second one this mroning. It's sort of frustrating because I know I'm pregnant but can't seem to convince Craig since the tests say I'm not.

• March 11 period begins - Day 1
• March 28 unprotected sex - Day 17
• April 5 period cramping - Day 25
• April 9 negative test - Day 29
• April 11 negative test - Day 31

Funny that I'm on day 31. This is the same point I was at when I did the first test with Shaun. It was 5 days later, when I tested again, that I finally found out.

I wonder if a blood test would be more accurate? Is that how they do it in fertility clinics? Maybe I'll go to the walk-in clinic tomorrow...

Pregnant Again?

I'm POSITIVE I'm pregnant again... I think it happened exactly 2 weeks ago today. I don't have any symptoms except that I've been feeling crampy for about 5 days and it's like I have a bubble sitting where my uterus is. I certainly feel it when I'm sitting or bending over.

I walked to Walmart with Shaun yesterday and bought 2 tests. Of course, it came out negative; I knew it would, it's too early. I'll take another one on Saturday.

And another reason why I think I'm pregnant, when we had sex 2 weeks ago I was ovulating (I know by the way I was feeling). My cycle, I'm guessing, is around35 days (that's what it was before Shaun) and it would have been day 17 that Tuesday. This Saturday will be day 35.

But it's almost not even worth testing because I KNOW I am!

No No No

Nothing new this week but I forgot to write about his "no-no-no" last week. I was doing the dishes one day and peeked around the corner at Shaun who was playing on the carpet. He looked up, smiled and shook his head back and forth at me. It was so adorable. Now Craig and I will do that and say "no-no-no" at the same time and Shaun will copy us... with a giant grin of course!

I went to the Maple Syrup Festival this morning with Julia and Laura. It was so busy! And when I came home I was able to nurse Shaun and then pump and additional 3 ounces. I just used that milk in his cereal at 3:00.

Erika got married today and we had dinner with everyone at Oriental Taste. Dinner was great and Shaun was so good until the very end... it was hours past his nap time.

Just a quiet week this week; I weigh in on Wednesday but that's it. We'll see how that goes!

Our Day Adjusts

What a tough week this has been with Shaun. Near the end of last week I was struggling to get him to nurse at each feeding; he was really distracted and just didn't seem hungry. And he was refusing to go down for his third nap too. But I was finding that he couldn't last all the way to bedtime and I was putting him to bed at 7:00 or shortly after. So on Tuesday this week Craig and I started Shaun on a 4 hour schedule.
But here's the problem: Shaun still wasn't hungry when mealtime came and he still wanted to go to bed before 8:00. He was so miserable all day Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday morning we were at Donna's house and Thursday morning we went to Lisa's and stayed for lunch. I am amazed at how much Shaun relies on his schedule to function. It's like he loves how predictable his day is when he's on a routine and gets miserable and cranky when he doesn't know what's coming next. I don't know how people do it demand feeding. Even Melissa, because Bailey just catnaps all day. She must go bananas!!
So anyway, Craig and I talked and decided to do a bunch of things:

1. Start feeding Shaun less solids at each meal so he'll take more breastmilk.
2. Make the solids he does get have more fibre in them (we think he's a little constipated).
3. Go back to 3 1/2 hours but reduce his naps to 1 1/2 hours so that he'll still go down for a third nap.

Well, it's been 3 days (Friday, Saturday and today) and Shaun's back to normal. He's been getting less solids and is taking more breastmilk and is even having a third nap again. It took some experimenting but we finally found what works. His bedtime is 8:30.

Shaun's doing some really cute things now too! When he's sleeping at night he won't stay lengthwise in the crip; he always turns so his head is jammed between the siderails. He won't be able to do that much longer though because he's getting too long to fit! When we check on him before going to bed his legs are all cramped up. But it must be cozy because he does it every night. Another thing he's done a couple times now is give kisses. It's not all the time but if Shaun's in the right mood when you go in with a pucker he'll hold his mouth open and lean forward to kiss you. You'll end up getting your pucker right inside his mouth, and getting spitty too but it's so cute and Shaun loves it!

There's one more thing that Shaun's started doing in the past 3 or 4 days. I call it his "lizard tongue". Out of the blue he'll poke his tongue out of his mouth and make it all skinny and pointy. The funniest thing about it is that he holds it there! Sometimes for a whole minute, just looking around. He must know it's cute! And when we're holding his hands to help him walk, he sticks his tongue out and breathes big, spitty breaths. It sounds so funny and looks hilarious. Craig and I just laugh. What a clown!

Oh! And I almost forgot! Shaun says "ma-ma" now. He said it for the first time on Wednesday while I was changing him and now he says it all the time. It's funny: when Shaun would be upset before and cry "da-da" I didn't have a problem saying no. But now, it's so much harder to let him cry if he's saying "ma-ma". Especially if he's looking at me! He's definitely learning how to get what he wants.

Shaun loves to walk too, assisted of course! He holds onto our index fingers and just motors. On Thursday and Friday he walked all the way to the mailboxes and back - I couldn't believe it! He gets so excited and then there's that lizard tongue... I'm laughing just thinking about it!

Kitty and Pokey are getting much better with Shaun now. Kitty actually comes into his room in the morning and before bed and sits on the footstool while I'm nursing him. She'll flip her tail around and he plays with it. And Pokey teases Shaun so much! Especially when he's playing on the floor. She sits just out of his reach and taunts him by stretching and rolling or flicking her tail. What a bunch we have here!