Cereal

So I have some thoughts on cereal for Kyle. Third kid, you'd think I'd have it all worked out by now. Not so in my world.

Kyle's nearly 5 months old and I'm beginning to see signs that he's ready to start eating something more than breastmilk. He's interested in anything we're eating and is MAD when he has to sit in his little infant rocker on the floor instead of his Bumbo on the table while we're having a meal. I was hoping he would wait until Shaun's out of school in 4 weeks because frankly, it's far too busy around here to start something as detailed and time-consuming as cereal, but I don't think he can wait that long.

What are your thoughts on starting iron-fortified infant cereal first instead of going straight to veggies? Weigh in and I promise I won't chastise you!

My Boys

Across

There has been dark days. Days where all I wanted to do was find somewhere I could hide and be away. Away from everything. A dark bubble I could climb into where there was no phones or computers or kids or light or sound or anything; that I could zip up and just be gone until everything was back to normal and okay again. Not that I really knew what normal was. I just knew this wasn't normal.

Everything sent me over the edge. I tried desperately to control everything on the outside while inside I was falling apart. Nothing I could do ever felt like it was enough because there was always someone else who needed me and I wasn't allowed to need anyone. I held it together during the day but at night when I was alone I'd cry. Cry that I had to do this over and over again tomorrow. It was hopeless, I'd always feel like this, always be a hamster in a wheel doing the same things; never getting any further ahead with anything. I'd cry that I had to keep it all together for the kids during the day. Then night would come and so would the tears. I couldn't stop them. I'd shake with deep sobs, my face buried in my hands so the walls wouldn't see me cry.

Dawn would come and bring a new day full of promise. With it would come the darkness I had fought the day before. I'd continue on with my day with a smile on my face, pushing down the overwhelming sadness and hopelessness until I could ignore it no more. I knew my grey days were becoming dark days. I also knew that one day I wouldn't be able to claw my way out from the darkness anymore.

I got assertive and told people what I needed. At first it was stuff like, "turn your socks right side out before putting them in the laundry". Now, with the help of my husband and friends and a really terrific cognitive therapist, I can look back at those days and while I still remember what it feels like, I'm not there. I've come to the other side of depression. The side where I'm able to recognize how I'm feeling and clearly say what help I need.

I actually feel joy again. I feel like I can be happy, really happy. Almost like I've rediscovered whatever it was I misplaced back in the winter. And it feels so good. Because I've certainly missed being happy and I think my family has missed me.

A Little

Kyle went to the doctor today for his 4 month check-up. A little late, since he's now 4 1/2 months, but this is the earliest they could get us in.

Weight: 16lbs, 14 oz
Length: 26 inches

Ninetieth percentile overall. I knew he was a porker! He's a whole pound bigger than Shaun was at the same age and a half pound bigger than Ian. Unbelievable, given that all three were the same exact weight at 2 months old: 13 lbs 6 oz. Kinda bizarre, really.

My little guy is learning to control his hands and regularly will grab things and turn them around to get a good look at them before stuffing them in his mouth. He's successfully been able to shove his whole fist into his mouth, much to Shaun's amazement. He announced one afternoon, "Mum, you've gotta see this! Kyle's got his whole arm in there!" While it wasn't his arm, I was shocked that Kyle was able to twist and contort his fat little fist into his gummy mouth.

He smiles at anyone who happens to look his way and keeps people behind us in the check-out line at the grocery store entertained with his grins and giggles while we empty our cart.

Kyle loves to be part of the action. He's happy sitting in his Bumbo up on the kitchen table watching the busy house around him. To his left is the playroom where Ian dumps baskets of cars and bins of Duplo, to his right is the living room where Shaun builds train tracks and pretends to be Spiderman. In the front is the kitchen where I dance along to silly kids' music in between washing dishes and refilling sippy cups.

He's a great eater, lasting only 3 hours between feedings before squawking for more. Naps are pretty much just over an hour long except for his fourth one around dinner, which is only about half an hour these days. I know he'll drop that one eventually once I start him on cereal but for now I enjoy eating without a baby staring me down. Kyle's starting to get really interested in whatever we're eating. He's tried to grab food in my hand while sitting in my lap a few times and Craig's told me that Kyle will reach for a coffee cup if it passes over his head. For now, Kyle is happy and content after eating so I'm not going to rush cereal.

He loves the Sleepy Wrap that my friend sent to me shortly after he was born. Every day when I walk to get Shaun at school I gently tuck him inside and push Ian in the stroller. I chat with Ian about what we're seeing and hearing and Kyle stares out, taking it all in; sometimes glancing up at me with a smile. Then Shaun comes running out when the bell rings and pauses to kiss Ian hello before tugging on my leg for me to bend down so he can kiss Kyle. I get a wave over the shoulder as he runs off to the playground with his friends.

I nurse Kyle under the maple tree and listen to the robins chirping at one another as they build their nest in the next tree. A plane flies overhead. Ian lifts his head from the sandbox to watch it and Kyle is distracted by the motion. Still latched on, he s t r e t c h e s his neck to watch his big brother for a moment until I tuck him back close to my skin.

More tomorrow...

Of the Creepy Crawly Kind

It's spring and with it comes creatures of every kind. We spend our days scouring the backyard for any sign of little critters. On this day Shaun found a half dozen snails hiding in the periwinkle. While he was too afraid to hold one in his hand after watching it slime all over mine, he did place it on the steps and patiently wait for it to come out for a visit.

Pain in the Back

Craig's been working in the backyard a little because we're hoping to build a deck eventually so he's been out there measuring and planning. Somehow he hurt his back on Friday last week. He came inside complaining that his back was hurting so I figured he'd just been working too hard and had some sore muscles. It continued all through the weekend and only progressively got worse instead of better. Yesterday he came home from work because he couldn't function. Originally I thought it was his sciatic nerve that was bothering him but after checking around on Google last night, we're wondering if it's a bulged disc. In any case, he couldn't get in to see the doctor today so he's on his way to Emergency at the hospital to have it looked at, hopefully get some x-rays taken and a note to be off work. His benefits plan pays 80% for workers' indemnity in cases like this so hopefully he won't be off too long. Bottom line, he needs to be healthy because we need him to work. Fingers crossed that it's something fixable... and fast.

Gone Too Soon

I have a very sad story to tell. This is not something to read if you're in a good mood... or even if you're a little depressed, in fact. It's simply tragic but I feel I have to share.

Craig and I don't believe in co-sleeping. Occasionally I will bring Kyle into bed with me early in the morning and nurse him while I doze for an extra 15 or 20 minutes but he's never, ever, slept the whole night in our bed. None of our kids have. Partly because it's OUR bed. I don't sleep in their beds, why should they be allowed in our bed? Mostly because it's not safe. Everything I've ever read aboot co-sleeping says it isn't safe and I bite my tongue whenever someone I know tells me they co-sleep with their child. There's even things on the market now to keep baby separated from the parents if they still insist on co-sleeping. Some people just never think something tragic will happen to them.

Friends of Craig and I have friends who have a 10 week old daughter. Jane, our friend, feels like we do about co-sleeping so when she found out their friends were allowing their infant daughter to sleep in their bed, she voiced her opinion that it's just not a good idea. Stating reasons like, the child will never learn to soothe herself, how will you have a sex life with a baby in your bed, etc. It was all scoffed off because they like having their daughter in their bed and reason she won't be there when she's 15 so why not enjoy it while she's little. Besides, it's a lot easier to function during the day when you're sleeping at night.

Well, sadly, the very night Jane told her friends that, their 10 week old daughter died. In their bed. Right beside them. The mother smothered her daughter and when she woke up, her baby was dead. Cold, blue, cradled up against her skin right where she had tucked her the night before.

Today, Mother's Day, Jane and her husband had to attend a funeral for this beautiful, perfect little girl who died so needlessly. They had to hug this little girl's parents and apologize that she was taken from them too soon. They had to listen to her name being cried out by her mother and watch as her parents crumpled in a heap of sobs at the altar. And then they had to drive into the cemetary for a graveside service and watch the tiny casket be lowered 6 feet into the ground while everyone sobbed and buried this little girl with their tears.

So tragic, and so needless. It simply breaks my heart.

Happy Mother's Day

I think Father's Day should be before Mother's Day so that we can set the bar. Happy Mother's Day to everyone!

For the Love of Books

He's reading! I can't believe that my baby is reading! This is one of the Snuggle Books Shaun's Kindergarten class brings home each day. There are no levels, no assigned books, and no set time frame that the children need to keep the books for. It's moreso like a free for all but the children are encouraged to choose one book each day. There's been some days where Shaun's forgotten to return his book and others where somehow he snuck a library book into the Snuggle Book bag but for the most part he's cooperated. The whole program is meant to be a casual and fun time that parents can spend with their child in hopes of making reading time fun rather than a stressful hassle.



The first few times Shaun brought a book home he refused to even try to read the title. Gradually he's been attempting more and more words in the books and lately has been reading the whole thing on his own. It seems once he gets the flow of these Early Readers, he picks up very quickly and just breezes through the book. I often have to remind him to point to each word so he doesn't skip over any - and that irritates him - and encourage him to sound out a word before giving up on it, but he really is reading.



The following video was taken this morning. It's the very first time Shaun's read this book.

Loss of Innocence

Feast or famine when it comes to posts, huh?

Anyway...

I brag about our great neighbourhood to anyone who will listen. I don't lock the van and rarely lock the front door when I leave to pick up Shaun at school. Okay, admittedly, I rarely lock the front foor, period. Well, until I happily hopped into the van today and found precious keep-Mummy-sane coffee change strewn all over the front seat. Immediately I was irritated that Craig took some for his car and then left a mess. I tromped into the backyard and asked if he'd been in the van recently. "No," was his reply, but he thought perhaps it was Shaun digging through the drawer. He's been known to do that from time to time but has never left a mess. Then it hit me: It was some kid.

We live down the street and around the corner from a middle school (grades 6-8) and the sidewalk is bustling every day as all the kids walk to and from school. I'll bet some kid decided to check the door just for shits and giggles, or perhaps on a dare, and low and behold it was unlocked. And the change drawer had a slew of painfully collected loonies and toonies and even two 5 dollar bills. I hope he bought a lot of candy with that money. What else would a 13 year old do with $18?

What freaks me out the most is that I was probably HOME when this little turd raided the van. So now I lock the van doors and always, always lock the house. Stupid kids.

Health is for the... Healthy?

We've been busy, to say the least. Ian has been fighting a wicked GI bug the last couple of days. Since 7:30 this morning he's thrown up 4 times and has gone through 10 diapers full of diarrhea. I told Craig, if this keeps up through the night tonight I'll bring him to the hospital tomorrow. I'm terrified he's getting seriously dehydrated because he can't keep anything down and refuses to drink the electrolyte stuff I bought him. Since Sunday morning he's literally had a few crackers and perhaps a sippy cup worth of apple juice mixed 50/50 with water. Poor guy was just getting over his wicked sinus infection combined with a horrible cough and now this. When will everyone here be healthy again???